- We do not talk money, salaries or promotions at work. Provision is of the Lord. Any success is attributed to ‘kujaribu tu’.
- Let’s face it, we are all lactose intolerant but we only insist because ‘strong’ tea is apparently synonymous with poverty.
- Every firstborn is a love child. Still, procreation before marriage is forbidden. Ask your folks.
- Significant weight gain is correlated to improved health and is associated with wealth. Obesity is a myth.
- Are you even siblings if you do not constantly trade insults?
- None of your parents are capable of passing wind. Flatulence is a backward trait reserved for their offspring.
- Whoopings are mandatory.
- Rest is a sin. It is construed as indolence. And you won’t have any of it under your mother’s watch.
- We do not speak words of endearments or affirmations to each other. It’s a bit too tacky telling your father you love him.
- Growing up is realizing they were playing good cop bad cop all along. They were both in on it. That beating your mother was consoling you about; she had seriously vouched for.
- Fathers are incapable of hugs and wrapping their arms around their sons. Feelings are insufferable to them.
- Most times, there are no specified meal times. You eat what you get. That’s if you get anything anyway.
- The employment of passive aggression and rye sarcasm are crucial to effective communication in these homes.
- SEX!? What is that? Who does that? I’m afraid we don’t do that here neither do we talk about it
- Wardrobes and clothes are shared commodities. The only thing that belongs to you is you.
- There is one seat in the house that is de-facto reserved. Even mosquitoes fear it. The man of the house sits there. It’s the throne.
- When sent to the kiosk be sure to return change. Even if it’s a red cent. It’s always been a booby trap.
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